Don't you feel like letting out a scream? I had this feeling for days. I just wish I can be an empty space and scream my heart out. hadjfhaofhoaiehfoiqwyfhohsdafhoif oqiyfo qy4oi hdalfhalsdhflajh f;lqyrtoqyofhaskdjfhakjdfh haor'efh'ajfl'ieruoiqyo fqyoy1482tyoe fouahfjhadflhasldjfhajkdhfyqwoyqofhf..... something like that. It's something I do not understand but in a way I do. Full. That's how I feel. Exploding to the brim. Ready to unload, implode, explode... Something. Something boiling. Somedays I guess we all feel like this. And we can only sit with it.
Cookies and milk on a Saturday morning. Comfort food for these days. I thought I was master of being alone. I've done plenty of things of aloneness. But yes this is still different. It triggers a lot in me. Reassess, rethink, repurpose. Events like this give us time to slow down, see things in different glasses and pops us out to reality or the truth for a bit. And we question. Maybe question even more. But yes we are left to these questions. Introspection and challenging the self. Maybe in a way a form of craziness.
Privilege problems? Yes definitely. I have a roof over my head, food on my plate, clothes on my back. And these I even have the liberty to choose, not the basic stuff but yeah much luxury. To be able to choose for a nice place I feel safe and comfortable in, to be able to choose for food that is healthy and delicious and that will provide me with more than enough nutrition, to choose to clothe myself in these clothes, not just fabric, but the material things as well. And yes, my problems are also valid, but somehow it puts it in perspective. I don't really have much to complain about.
Maybe it's the alone-ness. The missing for physical touch and physical experiences. Probably. Probably also the reason why I put myself into yoga. Into these positions. To feel something. To explore these feelings and to breathe through them.
Love. Compassion. Peace. At the risk of being called a stereo typical, love, peace yoga person. I say love. Love for one's self and love for others. Healing and forgiveness and a chance to do better, a better tomorrow - for everyone. More love, more understanding, more compasion not only to myself but to my fellows. Because I'm not the only one suffering or having a hard time.
We give a bit more. Sing a bit more. Dance a bit more. Find the joy in the little things. It might seem bleak but they do say that it is darkest before dawn right? We're almost there. Wherever there is. And we will all make it. Together. Keep breathing. Like they say, if you don't breathe - you die ;).