Body not stiff, mind stiff. This is a famous quote from the late Sri K Pattabhi Jois. I would say my body is also stiff, muscles stuck, bones cracking from the cold. Everything stiff. Mind and body. It happens. The change of temperature causes stiffness, the lack of sunlight causes less energy. And it is all connected. It is harder to get into the mat. It is harder to stay on the mat. It is not impossible though. One just needs extra courage and extra determination which I have to admit can be hard these days. We keep doing our best. And we try not to ask too much from ourselves. Acceptance and love of one's self. Sometimes that's the hardest to give. 

The autumn is in full swing and the temperatures are dropping. Staying in bed is getting more comfortable, the shortness of daylight, the rain - there are so many causes. And this year there is no running away to mother India, which I have been lucky to do 4 years out of the last 6 years. A sort of short escape from this cold. Now, we can only stay. And I find courage with the fellow practitioners. We are all in the same boat. All the world is experiencing this, there is no exception. And that sort of gives some sort of relief. Misery loves company? Maybe. I love being here though, amidst the cold. I think this year I really got to observe the seasons changing. No holiday in the summer and no going away in the winter and just being here. And there is beauty in that. I learn to make the most of it. While complaining a bit sometimes.

Mind stiff. Mind bending. Body bending. We keep the warmth in us. We keep the faith. Winter is coming but so will spring and summer. Plenty of things to look forward to. Keep your head up and keep smiling. Keep that fire inside of you.

I am starting later in practice. I try my best to be online at 7. I stay online and you are always welcome to join me. I would be very happy to see you there. Keep safe, keep happy, keep healthy.

Love always,
​J

Happy Diwali, the festival of lights. I don't find myself a good source in this festival, from my understanding it is a start of the new year and it is a festival of light, the winning of the light over the darkness. In India they light oil candles, and I think to translate it in our terms, somehow I find the lighting of the Christmas light coincides this event. In Europe the days are becoming short and there is a lack of light. And we feel this in our bodies, this also affects our moods. Gone are the long days of summer, atleast for now. It is time to cozy up at home and have heartwarming soups, cozy sweaters and hot cups of chocolate. And the twinkling sparkly lights kind of makes up for these dark days. 

I missed you guys last week, sorry for my absence. Energy has been low and I thought it's better to save it for another day, than giving a meager effort. I am really grateful for all the people who take their time to read my thoughts. And in a way it is scary because it is a peak in my thoughts, and who is not afraid of being judged by what they think? I know I am, I just am good at pretending that I do not. In the end of the day though, I know that my view of myself is what matters most, and as long as I am comfortable in my skin, everyone can say whatever. It's still not easy though.

So where were we. Light. The lack of light for me is exhausting, not as much energy as the summer and yes it is normal. I tend to ask my body to perform more and sometimes that just does not work out. And that is alright. Rest is always part of the program and coming back from that rest feels good and feels rejuvenating. I just gotta be patient with it and understanding to my body's needs and not push it to the limit as I often like to do. And of course I still do, because I just find it so interesting how the mind and the body shows their strength.

So light 'em up! Show them what you are made of. Shine the light always. It will shine back at you.

Keep safe. I stay online with you. Let me know if you want to join the little cozy community. We may be little. I'm really grateful for your support. I have been doing this program online almost since March/April... And you continued support is really massive to me. Thank you. 

As always, I remain at your service. Take good care of the light inside of you <3
​J

Labels can be sometimes harsh. The labels others give to us and maybe even more the label we stick ourselves. Sometimes the conditioning is so strong we don't even know that we are applying these labels. Labels can seem quite innocent and unhurtful- woman, man, white, black, asian. And yet they still have connotations that are attached to them. Yes, labels are there to help categorize, but it can also limit and put us in boxes. Boxes that we think can protect us but sometimes can hurt us.

These labels can turn into less innocent labels, some labels are harsh. We are sometimes labeled as - weak, stupid, always angry. A lot of labels and a lot of hurtful words and hurtful pre and misconceptions. And it's hard to sometimes find ways to use this labels as empowerment and find strength instead of weakness in them. Sometimes we give up the fight and just let them have that label of us in their heads, and that isn't so bad. But sometimes we let the labels of others sink in to what we think is real about us. We let this labels limit us, and we accept it as that. We cannot also blame it because we are kept told we are not good enough, not smart enough, not enough. That hurts.

Somehow, there must be a way out of this labels. I think it's digging deep. I don't know because I am still in the process of it. And it will probably take me time. But for now time is on my side and I hope to use it well. 

I hope you all are healthy and happy. Stay home, protect your own home and your family and yourself. And hopefully in the end we all get through this, through this Corona crisis and label crisis. I stay online. Labels and all. Ready for judgement and mostly for grace. Thank you for reading my thoughts. Stay safe.

Love always
J