Still alive? Barely? Wounded? Bruised? Injured? Probably. It's been a tough year. One for the books. For everyone. Although sometimes we feel so alone because yes, we have been distanced from everyone. It's been a while. It's been a bit hard to find the inspiration to write. No scratch that, there is so much inspiration to write. Probably I just needed to rest. Rest to is part of the program right?
Let's make a lists,
What I ended up doing in 2020
1. Receive my authorization from Sharath
2. Visited Philippines
3. Start mysorespace
4. Study with Luke, sanskrit and chanting online
5. Skateboard and rollerskate
6. Play in the empty streets of Antwerp
7. Get to know my parents
8. Find a way to share the practice in the pandemic
9. Not get sick
10. Practice and take my time to practice (even stall)
11. Research the ashtanga history
I can list down more. And when I look at it like this, it doesn't seem like a bad time. Yes. I have not hugged my friends or my family. I have not travelled to India or to be honest anywhere outside of Antwerp in the last 10 months possibly. I have narrowed down my circle of friends. I have spent a lot of time with myself, walking endlessly and aimlessly, looking deep and keep on looking. It's been hard but it's been good. They say what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger? Right?
I miss a lot of things. I discovered a lot of things. I'm thankful to be here. I'm thankful to be alive in this time. I made a lot of realizations this year and I hope I could use them in the future and really learn from it. It's been a harsh year, I would like to say not different from the rest, but I think it somehow is. Every year, it gets a bit harder, maybe it means I'm getting better at it? I don't really know. Sometimes I feel like I'm just back to step one. I just know I am grateful for another chance to it. To keep trying.
Dear 2020, let's be friends. Thank you for your lessons. I will surely remember you. Dear 2021, please do be kind. I know 2020 was not your fault, I just need a bit of downtime. I miss my family, I miss my friends. I cannot wait to hug them and be close to them. I want to travel and see the beauty of the world and share this to those with me. Please be kind, let's rock it.
Classes are back in the morning. I hope to wake up early enough to be there at 6, I'll be honest, I'll probably be later. Will work on getting back again at 6. Know I will be there. I hope you too.
I slowly want to open some afternoon spots. And some led classes and some beginner classes. Dreams, I know they take time, we will get there. I hope to practice with you again soon, in person (not just in zoom). I hope to see my teachers and my friends again. I hope to be adjusted again and to share the mysore energy. I am truly hopeful. <3
All in love. All in time