klutz

Clumsy, awkward... Maybe these are not the words you would describe me, but if you know me, you would agree. In my sneakers or barefeet and yoga pants, I have trained to be more stable. But put me in more dressy clothes, heels, you would see how uncoordinated and all over the place I am. And no shame here. I don't think there's anything wrong with this. I find it quite hilarious tripping all over the place. It means I have to concentrate on where I am walking and looking at where I am going. I trip, I fall, and luckily I haven't twisted an ankle or gotten anything serious. Matter of fact to find out how uncoordinated I am, tell me right or left when I am not practicing, I probably would take the wrong direction. I don't know right or left is just such a hard concept for me, and I always think I can get it 50% chance right without having to think about it. It also means I have 50% chance of getting it wrong. ;) 

Imagine me growing up. My parents and my brother would attest to this. My coordination was very bad. Sports, I was terrible. Dancing, I felt very conscious and I felt looked at, worst judged, whenever I did any attempt to dance. Walking in the street, I would trip once or twice a day, normal occurrence, nothing to be alarmed about. I learned to pick myself up and proceed. I also learned how not to hurt myself and to know when to pay more attention. But sometimes I get into the conversation, and poof, on the floor again. I guess falling and failing has been a talent, if you can treat it as that. I learned to be comfortable with falling and failing and I learned to treat it as a big matter, pretend no one saw, dust yourself off, pick yourself up and on you go.

I guess this is a big advantage in yoga, knowing how to fall and fail. Because there will be enough things to suck at. And over the years I learned that the everyday work helps. It doesn't seem like it. But it does, everyday failure somehow translates to success someday, even if sometimes that doesn't seem to make sense. But this everyday trying, it trains the body and the mind, so even in failure there is triggers to get it right and it might not come today, it might not come tomorrow or next week maybe not even next month, but next year is possible. I have time, there is no rush. It's a lifetime practice and I enjoy the falling and failing. 

So get it wrong, that's alright. Don't be afraid to make mistakes but also know that you can do what you set your mind into. Dedication and effort, sometimes that's all it takes, a lot of those two and a whole lot of guts but the recipe is simple. Sometimes we complicate things.

Keep practicing. Keep happy. Keep safe <3

Love always,
​J