Proud Mary

Let me tell you something. I was dreading to write this week. Why? My parents read my newsletter last week and they told me how proud they were of me. (Hi Mom and Dad!) And this week I felt like I will not be able to keep up with that. That's just stupid right? I'm sure they didn't want to stop me from writing when they gave me the compliment. It is my attachment to the goal that's stopping me from sharing my talents and thoughts.

You might be wondering about the title. This week this song played during online mysore practice. It stuck on me, I'm on last song syndrome. I love practicing with these ladies online (men you are very welcome - but yes, the ladies seem to be pioneering this movement). It's definitely different but it doesn't make it any less special. For me, it helps me broaden my perspective. I bow to Bele and to all the moms who practice, home or in the shala. I saw how hard it is. 7th series - family life, it is no joke. I had no idea, I still probably don't, I only had a glimpse of her day, 2 hours. And I thank her for sharing it to us. 

The online shala is filled with home sounds and sights. Kids, partners and cat saying hi to the camera. Morning news muffled in the background. Kids and cat wanting attention. Proud Mary, Tina Turner version. Church bells from Portugal. Birds chirping. It's so special for me. I love having these sounds and sights. Yes, it is distracting. But we don't live alone in this world, we are part of it. And to be able to practice through all of these is a blessing. It gives me another view on the practitioners. They share more of their vulnerability to me. I am able to get to know them more, in their home with all of the family, a very sacred and special place for them. 

I'll share a vulnerability too. I have been jobless for 4 months. 2 months in Mysore to study and half a month in Philippines to visit my family. And then this whole crisis hit all of us. I came back to Antwerp hoping to launch a Mysore program and find an IT project to be able to cover the costs. And while I do have savings, I still have to be practical. A student asked me if she can give me something for this and yes, I won't play proud. I have put my details on the website, if you want to donate, it is very appreciated, it is not expected. I love the practice, I enjoy the benefits of it and I just want to share this to those who want to try. I find it hard to put a price on what I do because I do it from my heart. For all of us, there is alot of uncertainty these days and this is my way of sharing and giving back to the community. I know that strengthening the community will strengthen me too. I also accept feedbacks, good or bad. I commit to this craft and I know there is plenty to learn. It's very heartwarming to me to hear that what I share helps some of you. So thank you for letting me know. But no attachment to results right? Practice is harder than the theory. :) 

The class are open to all. It is a space to share energy, to inspire, to get inspired and to help each other keep going through these times. I keep videos of the classes, to see the students after, to appreciate this beautiful energy being shared, to see their struggles and their wins. The videos are beautiful to watch, it adds to my study of this method, of myself and you, friends and students. I practice with you, to share the energy and the struggles, I am far from perfect, and that's really not what I want to be. It's not the instagram or photo version of me or the other practitioners, it's unedited, raw, honest. Please know that this will be treated with utmost respect and sensitivity.

I have been practicing for 8 years. Everyday I'm still learning. I don't look like my videos or my pictures, those are moments. This online platform - I choose to share with you - noisy, messy, live and real. And although these are not the normal methods, no way to convey the healing power of touch, we make do with our means for the moment. The class is open Monday to Friday 6-10 CET on Zoom. If you have any question please feel free to ask. I will be here while we are on lockdown, practicing and sharing energy with you.

I remain here for you. To entertain, to support, to challenge, to broaden the perspective, to write - without focus on the result. Just the doing, the trying, the process. I try to stop thinking about what they will say about me, or what they think. For I can only be myself, I can only be true to me and to those around me. Acceptance is optional. I am honoured by your presence and your time. Always grateful. I'll see you online! Stay strong, happy and healthy. 


'Left a good job in the city
Workin' for the man ev'ry night and day
And I never lost one minute of sleepin'
Worryin' 'bout the way things might have been
Big wheel keep on turnin'
Proud Mary keep on burnin'
Rollin', rollin', rollin' on the river'
Love always,
J